Confused? You won't be after this week's episode of SOAP....
These are the Taits, (F & John)
And these are the Campbells, (Alan, Jeff, Mark, Mike & Ricci)
And this is SOAP....
In last week's episode, Lee took on Eddie. Lee claimed Eddie knew nothing and was really surprised when Eddie got everything right! But then it was revealed that Eddie wore bright under-ware and when that was finally ditched Eddie was rewarded with a contract!
Asked when the new season was about to start, no-one knew. But we will know when it has finished!
Now the pubs are re-opening and the beer is on the inside. Why are all the customers being asked to stay on the outside?
Meanwhile a fake Tony Wood has apparently become a fashion model. But has he was the only one who stated my post-match Harrow ballad was 'clever' I'm generally supportive of his modelling career.
Will Alex Barrett get abducted by aliens and replaced by a cloned Alex Barrett? Will the fake Alex Barrett have re-knewed his phone contract before the start of next season? Will any of us be able to tell them apart?
All these and many more questions will be answered in next week's episode of....SOAP
The classic mindreading sketch sprang to mind.. You'll be humming the theme tune for days!
Soon to be filmed by Alan Woodhouse in front of a live studio audience.
Can't wait for the next gripping (or do I mean Gripper) episode. Will the corner flags stay up? Will John Melnyk win Pointless? Will Tom run out of beer before we get the chance to drink any? Won't sleep till I know.
In this week's episode.....
Lee got the band back together, (well done young man)! But Boris has just taken away the instruments (What the...)
We can go back to Stadiums in October - But we can't go to Oktoberfest!
On Monday, I went to London, (first time in 21 weeks), and wore a face mask for 5 hours each way
But everyone else couldn't be arsed. So the next day, the PM said it would be compulsory, but the Police Force said they would not be able to enforce it!
Is the Nag's Head in Shrewsbury finally going to re-stock it's supply of scratchings by tomorrow or will I have to smuggle them in from The Woodman again?
A source I know at Wellington Amateurs FC (West Mids Lg) told me this morning they have been given the green light for the end of August - then I got home and read the latest! Another rumour suggests B&L have accepted demotion - will they? Won't they?
Another mainstay local side AFC Telford announced this week they have received a £100k sum to re-surface the pitch. That accounts for the strange smell for the last 8 weeks. Good news, a complete waste of money. They did not need it, but no doubt took it anyway. They could have re-directed the funds to the Seven Stars or Proud Salopian bars in Shrewsbury, still closed due to, wait for it, not the pandemic, but flood damage! Who needs business?
Confused? Frankly more than ever!
These and many more questions will probably not get answered in next week's episode of SOAP!
I do miss you guy's - Lets hope we go actually get some normality soon!
PS. If you supply scratchings or know someone who does - the pubs in Shropshire - you'll make a killiing!