I had things to do yesterday morning, but intended watching a game on the South Coast, in the unlikely event that I escaped on time.
I ended up near Paddington at 1:30. Ducking into the station I was surprised to see I was just in time for the last train that would get me to Burnham v That Mob in Ruislip. (It's a two-mile walk to the ground.) I'd had no intention of going to that game.
I decided to count the offensive words.
Thirty minutes in, there were six or eight "f-words", bellowed in rapid succession, at a volume between Fordhamesque and Butleresque, which ended with someone being offered "outside" in the stand.
I was not in a position to see the stand. Stereotyping obviously dictated that I assumed it was a Stones fan, though I was puzzled, being unable to recognise the voice and having done a lap of the ground in the first five minutes and not seen a single Stones reprobate in the sizable away contingent.
The guilty party was connected to Burnham in some official capacity. Dressed in cricket whites and a blazer and didn't look as if he'd be able to knock the skin off the proverbial rice pudding. He got free burgers for himself and a colleague at HT and seemed to have calmed down. Midway through the second half he was off again, screaming a couple of "f-words" and slating the chairman before storming out. Weird! No other swearing at all in from spectators.
On field? Two mild "f-words" from Burnham players and a loud "f-word" from Wealdstone's trialist keeper.. which was possibly justified, as the defence had just made David Luiz look like Franco Baresi.
I shall be counting the profanities at all games until the start of the season... though I have just booked to attend Rangers v. Hibernian on August 5th and I may lose count at that.
Here are some comic gems to cheer you all up.
Good, aren't they?
Now I do genuinely hope you succeed in the "No swearing" initiative. I'd quite like football as a whole to clean up its act on many fronts... but be prepared for some mickey taking along the way. "The Mongol Majority" was coined by a wag yesterday.
Next article in this thread: Re: Profanity count. by Paul Butler14/7/2014 11:15Mon Jul 14 11:15:05 2014
- No swearing at hendon or you are in big trouble by Rupe5/7/2014 03:37Sat Jul 5 03:37:01 2014view thread
- Re: No swearing at hendon or you are in big troubl… by Planet Margate14/7/2014 09:33Mon Jul 14 09:33:17 2014
- Don't Leave Us Paul by Mallorca Don6/7/2014 21:05Sun Jul 6 21:05:35 2014
- foul language by jimsredwhiteand green10/7/2014 11:23Thu Jul 10 11:23:24 2014
- Re: foul language by Mallorca Don15/7/2014 21:30Tue Jul 15 21:30:04 2014
- Re: foul language by Paul Butler16/7/2014 09:57Wed Jul 16 09:57:54 2014
- Re: Don't Leave Us Paul by Paul Butler7/7/2014 00:30Mon Jul 7 00:30:24 2014
- Re: Don't Leave Us Paul by John7/7/2014 13:57Mon Jul 7 13:57:48 2014
- The inconvenient truth by Planet Margate14/7/2014 09:45Mon Jul 14 09:45:50 2014
- Re: Don't Leave Us Paul by Paul Butler7/7/2014 14:43Mon Jul 7 14:43:02 2014
- Re: Don't Leave Us Paul by John7/7/2014 20:47Mon Jul 7 20:47:16 2014
- Re: Don't Leave Us Paul by Tony7/7/2014 15:07Mon Jul 7 15:07:07 2014
- Re: Don't Leave Us Paul by Paul Butler7/7/2014 15:08Mon Jul 7 15:08:29 2014
- Re: No Swearing by Jeff Hill5/7/2014 04:33Sat Jul 5 04:33:48 2014
- Re: No Swearing by Paul Butler5/7/2014 09:26Sat Jul 5 09:26:36 2014
- Re: No Swearing by John5/7/2014 11:58Sat Jul 5 11:58:10 2014
- No Swearing Policy by Jeff Hill5/7/2014 18:36Sat Jul 5 18:36:14 2014
- Re: No Swearing Policy by Paul Butler5/7/2014 19:38Sat Jul 5 19:38:39 2014
- Re: No Swearing Policy by Rupe5/7/2014 21:11Sat Jul 5 21:11:05 2014
- swearing by essex don6/7/2014 09:30Sun Jul 6 09:30:48 2014
- Re: swearing by Paul Butler6/7/2014 09:47Sun Jul 6 09:47:55 2014
- Re: swearing by John6/7/2014 12:34Sun Jul 6 12:34:20 2014
- Re: swearing by John Fordham6/7/2014 18:24Sun Jul 6 18:24:18 2014
- foul language - is it necessary ? by mickeygee6/7/2014 20:13Sun Jul 6 20:13:30 2014
- Re: foul language - is it necessary ? by Jake Osborn 7/7/2014 16:40Mon Jul 7 16:40:55 2014
- Re: foul language - is it necessary ? by John7/7/2014 20:41Mon Jul 7 20:41:07 2014
- Re: foul language - is it necessary ? by Tony6/7/2014 21:42Sun Jul 6 21:42:39 2014
- Re: foul language - is it necessary ? by dw6/7/2014 23:34Sun Jul 6 23:34:14 2014
- Re: foul language - is it necessary ? by mickeygee8/7/2014 08:45Tue Jul 8 08:45:12 2014
- Re: Naive Sponsors. by alan ainsworth8/7/2014 23:05Tue Jul 8 23:05:25 2014
- Re: Naive Sponsors. by mickeygee9/7/2014 00:10Wed Jul 9 00:10:56 2014
- re: Naive Sponsors by alan ainsworth9/7/2014 13:32Wed Jul 9 13:32:28 2014
- Re: re: Naive Sponsors by mickeygee9/7/2014 21:41Wed Jul 9 21:41:45 2014
- Running on the pitch by Dorset Don8/7/2014 12:54Tue Jul 8 12:54:52 2014
- Baffled by John Fordham10/7/2014 09:47Thu Jul 10 09:47:54 2014
- Re: Baffled by Jake Osborn 12/7/2014 14:05Sat Jul 12 14:05:50 2014
- Re: Baffled by Tony12/7/2014 20:40Sat Jul 12 20:40:14 2014
- Re: Baffled by John12/7/2014 21:47Sat Jul 12 21:47:39 2014
- Re: Baffled by Paul Butler10/7/2014 13:13Thu Jul 10 13:13:14 2014
- Re: Baffled by John Fordham10/7/2014 15:42Thu Jul 10 15:42:43 2014
- Re: Baffled by Tony10/7/2014 13:56Thu Jul 10 13:56:20 2014
- Re: Baffled by Paul Butler10/7/2014 14:07Thu Jul 10 14:07:49 2014
- Re: Baffled by Tony10/7/2014 14:25Thu Jul 10 14:25:36 2014
- Please take a look at points 8 and 9 of the attach… by Simon10/7/2014 15:52Thu Jul 10 15:52:41 2014
- Re: Please take a look at points 8 and 9 of the at… by dw11/7/2014 00:36Fri Jul 11 00:36:06 2014
- In addition to which, by John10/7/2014 17:31Thu Jul 10 17:31:46 2014
- Re: In addition to which, by ChrisHFC10/7/2014 20:08Thu Jul 10 20:08:34 2014
- Re: In addition to which, by essex don10/7/2014 20:01Thu Jul 10 20:01:45 2014
- ...In addition to which... by alan ainsworth11/7/2014 19:56Fri Jul 11 19:56:45 2014
- Well, that's that thread finished then. (nt) by John11/7/2014 22:51Fri Jul 11 22:51:30 2014
- Re: Well, that's that thread finished then. (nt) by Paul Butler13/7/2014 21:57Sun Jul 13 21:57:48 2014
- Profanity count. by alan ainsworth13/7/2014 23:35Sun Jul 13 23:35:10 2014
- Re: Profanity count. by Paul Butler14/7/2014 11:15Mon Jul 14 11:15:05 2014
- Re: Rangers v. Hibs by alan ainsworth14/7/2014 15:50Mon Jul 14 15:50:25 2014
- Rangers/Hibs by Plumstead Blue16/7/2014 23:13Wed Jul 16 23:13:22 2014
- re: End by alan ainsworth16/7/2014 23:26Wed Jul 16 23:26:52 2014
- End by Plumstead Blue17/7/2014 22:17Thu Jul 17 22:17:49 2014
- Re: Rangers v. Hibs by Paul Butler14/7/2014 17:19Mon Jul 14 17:19:34 2014