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Profanity count.

By alan ainsworth (legacy user)13/7/2014 23:35Sun Jul 13 23:35:10 2014In response to Re: Well, that's that thread finished then. (nt)

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I had things to do yesterday morning, but intended watching a game on the South Coast, in the unlikely event that I escaped on time.
I didn't.
I ended up near Paddington at 1:30. Ducking into the station I was surprised to see I was just in time for the last train that would get me to Burnham v That Mob in Ruislip. (It's a two-mile walk to the ground.) I'd had no intention of going to that game.
I decided to count the offensive words.
Thirty minutes in, there were six or eight "f-words", bellowed in rapid succession, at a volume between Fordhamesque and Butleresque, which ended with someone being offered "outside" in the stand.
I was not in a position to see the stand. Stereotyping obviously dictated that I assumed it was a Stones fan, though I was puzzled, being unable to recognise the voice and having done a lap of the ground in the first five minutes and not seen a single Stones reprobate in the sizable away contingent.
The guilty party was connected to Burnham in some official capacity. Dressed in cricket whites and a blazer and didn't look as if he'd be able to knock the skin off the proverbial rice pudding. He got free burgers for himself and a colleague at HT and seemed to have calmed down. Midway through the second half he was off again, screaming a couple of "f-words" and slating the chairman before storming out. Weird! No other swearing at all in from spectators.
On field? Two mild "f-words" from Burnham players and a loud "f-word" from Wealdstone's trialist keeper.. which was possibly justified, as the defence had just made David Luiz look like Franco Baresi.

I shall be counting the profanities at all games until the start of the season... though I have just booked to attend Rangers v. Hibernian on August 5th and I may lose count at that.

Here are some comic gems to cheer you all up.

Good, aren't they?

Now I do genuinely hope you succeed in the "No swearing" initiative. I'd quite like football as a whole to clean up its act on many fronts... but be prepared for some mickey taking along the way. "The Mongol Majority" was coined by a wag yesterday.

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